My Fantastically Feral Beauty Day Off

Dita Courante Nerd Glasses

I have a confession.  I have a love-hate relationship with beauty.   I can chalk this up to the fact that I’m a Gemini, or just admit that sometimes I get tired of keeping up with it all.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still think a good time means rolling around in glitter and lipstick.   I haven’t abandoned my curiosity for anti-aging breakthroughs, nor have I lost my appetite for the beauty rhetoric, with all its hypocrisies and politically correct, yet thoroughly inauthentic platitudes.  (We all know looks matter on some level, so lets stop pretending they don’t and judging those who try).

But as I get older, looking daisy fresh takes premeditated planning and Olympic commitment My daily routine has evolved into a Tilt-a-Whirl of Latisse, Retinol, sunscreen, exfoliation, serums, crèmes, Rogaine, ionic Velcro rollers and a new fangled curling iron that looks more at home in an OB-GYN’s office than in my hair.  If I drank the night before, ate carbs or dim sum, I’m screwed.  There will be a random facemask involved or an ill-fated attempt to make my eyes less puffy with Preparation H or tea bags (neither of which really work).    And God forbid I’m showing my legs.  This means self tanner and surgical gloves get involved.  All this before I’ve brushed my teeth, put on my make-up or even thought about what I’m wearing evaluated the need for Spanx.

This is why some days I don’t feel like doing a damn thing or apologizing for it.  Like today.   I didn’t shower.  Hell, I’m not even wearing underwear.  On my face is nothing but sunscreen; messy hair spun into a haphazard French twist (Goody Spin Pin I love you) and my nerd glasses.   Nerd glasses are key to my beauty days off because I wear them all day, not just when I need to read the ingredients on a label.  They say, “don’t come here for the view, thinking going on”.

I’ve always taken beauty breaks, but when I was younger I would feel bad about myself when I did.  Or I would make excuses if I ran into someone I knew.  Not so much today.  I revel in the deliberate purpose of my less visible, downtime side.  I suck in the world around me and people watch, rather than preoccupy myself with that others think of me.

So in the spirit of the Labor Day weekend, here’s to unwinding, unplugging, unraveling and being fantastically feral.