Friday Field Notes: Fall Trends Include Nudity, Nothing, the NFL and Ad Fails.

I’m a little teary knowing there are only a few more Fridays to go until the end of summer.  Somehow it feels you can just slack off a bit after lunch or get away with wearing flip-flops to work like I did today.  Anyway, here’s what I’ll be talking about over my last few summer vodka tonics:

1) Did you know that EVERYTHING is in style this fall (New York Times Style)?  I just had a holy cow moment. Fashion isn’t just something I’ve loved/resented over the past 4 decades; it’s  a tool that tells me how get dressed in the morning.  Now it’s all on me.  Don’t get me wrong, I have my own ideas on things (see here for my own trends I want to become huge), but decades from now if my grandkids see me in some self-inflicted sari and tiara combo I won’t have the convenient out that it was in vogue at the time.  Nope.  It will just be that grandma was weird.

2) Prince Harry was full ginger this week in Vegas (Slate).  I’ve always liked Harry over William.  He pretty much rocks his gingerness and is like, “Screw it, you live once and being King is kinda meh, but being royal is digity digity”.  And besides, wasn’t there a law passed a few years ago that says what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?   Who hasn’t been caught playing strip (insert stupid thing here) when they’re young and dumb.  Harry, I say Keep Calm And Carry On.  But next time, know who your friends are.

Full ginger

3) Nicole Kidman was also naked, but had a studio, great lighting and Mario Testino. (Fashion Telegraph UK).  This looks nothing like her, and is it me or did she get a new boobs?  There’s a lot of T, A and D (desperation).  Nothing bums me out more than seeing a talented actress who’s getting a little older start taking off her clothes to prove she’s still got it.   And I don’t know if it’s necessarily her fault or the industry’s.  Girl’s gotta work I guess.

4) Now here’s naked with a protest twist.  Women in Caracas pose topless in nothing but red harem pants to demand for the return of Odalisque, the Matisse painting that went missing over a decade ago (Guardian).   It was a stunt/artistic expression staged by Venezuelan artist Violette Bule and I actually think it’s kinda fun.  Bule was quoted as saying:

“My main goal is to have the original returned but I also want to call attention to the irony behind the way the art market works,” said Bule, who masterminded the ensemble. “After this scandal, the Odalisque will surely be worth much more,” she added.

Now ladies, do we really think this is going to work?  Doesn’t this somehow reward the behavior?

Photo: Violette Bule

5) Still not enough nakedness for you? Then try out the world’s largest body painting festival in Pörtschac, Austria (Beautylish).   Before you roll your eyes and think this is a a high brow version of Hedonism meets Burning Man, it’s actually pretty cool  The designs are amazing and the bodies all vary in shape and size.  This has been going on for 15 years and claims over 25,000 visitors.   I wouldn’t take my son, I mean it’s not Disney, but I might check if out if this were in my neck of the woods.

8) New Chanel Lipstick ad makes epic fail (Jezebel).  This gorgeously produced lipstick ad is a slam dunk until the last few seconds when I swear it says “Men hate women who read”.  What she’s really saying is “Men hate women who weep”, along with other famous Coco Chanel quote.  Might want to remix that voice over read.

3) Finally, we come to some clothing.  Specifically NFL’s Lady Gear.  I was flipping thru the bulky InStyle September issue and noticed this bizarre add in the back for NFL team jerseys for women.  I’m not into American football, but understand why femme fans would want an upgrade from bulky man jerseys.

In my opinion though, the NFL got this ad all wrong.  From the pandering “Its My Team” headline, to the styling (fringed micro minis, stilettos and leg make-up anyone?), my take away was “hey ladies, here’s how you can look super hot while serving nachos and beer to your man while he enjoys some game”.   It reminds me of when I first saw those ludicrous claims on Trojan condoms that said  “ribbed…for her”.

But the real WTF is the mixed bag of womanhood that consists largely of Dancing with The Star alumns and trophy wives of the team owners.  Sure, there’s a cameo from Serena Williams providing some needed athletic cred but looking like she would rather be fishing (far left).  The real kicker in this female menagerie is….wait for it….now look off the right.  No your eyes do not fail you, that is…CONDOLEEZA RICE.

Oh Condi…what do they have on you that made you do this?  And how did you get the boring outfit?  Is that an orange cape?

Is it just me?  What do you think?

Have a great weekend.