Friday Field Notes: Boogie Shoes, Botox, Endangered Brazilians and the Best Makeup Tutorial Ever

It’s a late summer Friday and the Olympics are almost over which has me a little sad.  To hang on to both a little longer, I’m wrapping Friday Field notes around some Olympic behavior, both good and bad.

First, I couldn’t resist this crazy synchronized swimming GIF.  I’m still bitter baton twirling isn’t an Olympic sport.

Now the important stuff:

1. Dr. Emily Gibson cries for “an end to the war on public hair” (Huffington Post).  In other words, she’s suggesting we’re now overdoing the waxing, the Brazilians, the Vajazzling because it leads to an increase in STDs and infections.  I imagine this would apply to the anal bleaching trend as well (don’t ask).  I have to say, I like the idea of the full bush making a comeback.  I’m sick of thinking about accessorizing and pruning “down there” aside from those errant strays that tend to escape down the side of the leg.

Dr. Gibson, I think you’re Olympic for suggesting we might not need to trim our hedges with hot wax anymore.  What do you think?

a garden in Tours, France. Free-standing topia...

2. Aren’t 2 in 1 products great?  Take these sun protection masks that women in Qingdao, China wear to avoid getting freckles. (NY Times) It’s nice knowing you can go from beach to liquor store robbery and that your skin’s protected in the process.  Stick ’em up UV rays!

Women of Qingdao, I think you’re Olympic for taking sun protection THIS seriously and not letting anyone bust your groove.

Thelma & Louise take China. Photo credit: Si Chi Yim for the NY Times

3. OK haters, just back off my girl Aishwarya Rai (Daily FeMail) (Bollywood royalty and now new mom who had the audacity to deprioritize getting her body back after she had her baby earlier this year).  She’s back at work in a new campaign for a jewelry store and has been accused of being photoshopped to look slimmer.  People, the woman is wearing a giant gold mumu, not Victoria Secret wings and a thong.  And since when did post-partum weight loss become an Olympic sport?  Leave the woman alone!

AishRai (if I may rebrand you that, your full name is hard to say), I think you’re Olympic for not apologizing for wearing your post-partum body to Cannes back in May.  That kind of confidence and audacity is a lot more interesting than just another plunging neckline on a 100 lb actress. 

Photo credit: Kiran Deohans

4. Kelly Rippa cops to getting as much Botox as possible (The Gloss).  I knew I always liked this girl, and any one who admits to what it really takes to stay camera ready has the stuff.

Kelly, I think you’re Olympic for telling us how hard you work to look good and not letting womankind wonder if we just got unlucky in the genetic lotto. 

Photo credit: Izzy/WENN

5. Pink just signed as the new face of Cover Girl (Daily Mail).   I don’t care for their products, but I don’t think they get enough recognition for partnering with unexpected female celebrities (read: not your traditional beauties).  From Ellen, to Queen Latifah and now Pink, a new mom, and normal looking person with a BMI over 18.

Cover Girl, I think you’re Olympic for doing an excellent job of portraying how glamorous and beautiful diversity really is. What do you think?

6. Karl Lagerfeld publicly declares that Pippa Middleton should show her backside only (Daily Mail).  Here’s the thing; we all exchange petty gossip behind closed doors and speculate about things just like this (“is she really that hot” blah blah blah).  But it’s another when you’re a ubiquitous cultural icon and the words you speak publicly echo like a bullhorn.   No amount of talent compensates for just being a mean old man.

Karl, you’re an Olympic douche.

pippa9

pippa9 (Photo credit: xhan104

English: karl lagerfeld

 

7. It might be hard to impress McKayla Marone, but she does Jenna Bush a solid by trying to teach her how to Dougie.  (Huffington Post)   This has become a thing since Gabby Douglas broke out in a spontaneous “dougie” last year. Hussein Bolt did a micro dougie at the start of the 100 meter race as well, and Kate Upton even has one too (I think Terry Richardson made her do it).

Hey Jenna, guess what?  We may not share the same politics, but I think you’re Olympic for trying something new, and on top of a moving double-decker bus of all things.  Click here to see what The Dougie is really supposed to be like.

 

8. Hillary Clinton dances like there’s nobody watching in South African…sort of. (The Atlantic Wire).  I so want Hillary to be fully self expressed and it feels we’re getting a glimpse of the Hillary we know is in there.  She practically grinds!

Hillary, you are Olympic because you rule the dance floor like it’s the free world.

 

9. To me, the most Olympic person in the world now is 13-year-old Talia Joy Castellano’s make-up tutorials (they’re exceptional).  (Jezebel) What’s Olympic about this is that she’s been doing this while battling two forms of deadly cancer.  In a separate post she talks openly about the grim   prognosis and her decision not to continue to fight, but in all she emanates hope and the bravery of a navy seal.

Talia – you are Olympic for showing us that all we ever have is right now.

Have a great weekend!