7 Reasons You Need A Fabulous Sunglass Wardrobe

My husband and I are having fight.  We’re packing for a few days at the beach and he won’t let me put my makeup case into his suitcase.  He’s pissed that I need to do this because I’m packing 7 pairs of sunglasses, all in their special little cases.

No room at the inn for my suite of sunglasses

What’s really up his craw is that I actually own about 3 times this amount in sunglasses, which he’s just learned after 15 years of marriage.   His self-righteousness only increases as he counts them out loud with the indignant horror of a detective that’s just stumbled upon a mass grave of bodies from a serial killer.

Men.

Thru the years, sunglasses have carved out a well-earned place in my heart, head and budget.  Their utility extends beyond just making a fashion statement and I refuse to apologize for my past indulgences.

Sunglasses started to become a big part of my life right after my son was born.  I was exhausted, fat and overwhelmed.  Thankfully Kate Spade made the perfect pair of teal tortoise framed shades that shielded the messy reality of my life from the rest of the world.

My post partum Kate Spades. Discontinued, but I still have them and love them

They allowed me to leave my apartment without revealing the puffy, dark circled panic that my eyes would otherwise reveal.  My sunglasses told the world I had it together.  No post-partum here folks, keep walking.

After that, my first designer splurge was Gucci. They looked very J Lo soft hip hop in that “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” video, which helped put some fly girl into my otherwise lumbering walk to work.  As a new mom, I needed all the fly I could get.

Love Don’t Cost A Thing for J Lo

But my love costs about $300

Two years later, my grandmother died at 94.  She was my favorite person on earth and understood the power of understated accessories, so in fitting tribute, I bought a pair of “don’t bother me, I’m grieving” pitch back Chanel sunglasses.

Classic Chanel dark sunglasses. Perfect for funerals or being French

The following year, I had a serious case of lust for Tom Ford and his sunglasses. Jennifer Aniston was constantly photographed wearing them during the Brangelina mess.  And thanks to her Tom Ford’s, she made being the victim of adultery, betrayal, paparazzi and divorce look downright delicious.   I bought two pairs; the Jennifer and the Charles.

Jennifer Aniston wearing her Tom Ford Jennifers

Both my Tom Ford’s broke, but it didn’t matter.  Thanks to my expanding sunglass wardrobe, I could slip in and out of the fantasy of being an US weekly girl.  

My broken heart and broken Tom Ford Charles aviators

And now that my feet aren’t equipped to gracefully don 5” heels anymore, I’ve diverted my fetish for shoes being diverted into super duper sunglasses.  As a result, I now worship at the altar of Robert Marc, a boutique designer that delivers exceptional quality, design and durability.  All at prices I have no business paying in this economy. 

So in the spirit of post rationalization, here are the 7 reasons why I think a sunglass wardrobe is a must rather than just a lust:

 1. They help prevent wrinkles around the eyes. Ask any dermatologist, and they’ll tell you that getting into habit of wearing sunglasses protects from the UV light that breaks down the collagen in the delicate eye area, and prevents squinting.  Translation: fewer crows feet and crepey eyes.

2. They keep your vision healthy. UV radiation from the sun can also damage the cornea, lens and can contribute to cataracts.  The trick though, is to look for sunglasses that offer details on UV protection, specifically that they block 99 to 100 percent of both UVA and UVB rays.  Beware of sunglasses that are labeled “cosmetic”.

3. They make a statement so you don’t have to.  Having an arsenal of sunglasses is great way to declare your mood and accessorize whatever event you’re going to experience.

As you can see, I love me some aviators because they say sporty cool.  The darker the tint, the more I want people to keep a distance though. I don’t wear heavily mirrored aviators– I am simply not cool enough to pull them off, but if you are go for it!

Weekend aviators, the Mykita Fanny

My everyday go to shades are my classic Robert Marc tortoise shell #636 because they’re huge and whisper just enough glamour without making me seem unapproachable.

My never fail Robert Marc #636 shades

I save my super-darks for funerals and business travel involving jet lag or more than 3 hours on a plane.

Plastic Robert Marc aviators circa 2010 I think.

4. They have your back. Sunglasses have allowed me to look presentable to other parents at early morning soccer practices, conceal a good cry after a sad movie and basically seem like part of the human race when I would rather just hide under the covers.

The only watch out here is that you don’t want to “over wear” your sunglasses, especially if you’re over 30 and should know better.  Avoid wearing them indoors too much or when you’re having an intimate chat with someone and eye contact is important (unless it’s exceptionally bright and sunny).

5. They make you instantly glamorous and a little mysterious.  I don’t care how much of a hot mess you are or how decrepit you look under neath, sunglasses are working hard to tell the world you’re fabulous.  Just look at Angelina Jolie.  I swear, sunglasses are the unsung hero of her career. 

6. It’s an easy way to upgrade your style  Trends in sunglasses are subtle, but significant, even with the classics.  If you haven’t upgraded your shades in 5 years, a fresh new pair will probably make a meaningful, albeit nuanced difference in your package.  Plus, they’re a great way to step out of your fashion comfort zone if you’re still not convinced about peplum shirts and mullet skirts.

7. They never make you look fat.  Sunglasses always forgive that second piece of pie (unlike my nemesis, the skinny jeans).

My husband will never understand my love for sunglasses, which is OK.  I will never understand his passion for soccer and Costco.

Below are some of my favorites.  Do you love sunglasses as much as I do?

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