The Friday Feed: David Hasselhoff, Fat French Women and the Dangers of Boring Shoes

Here’s the low down on what happened in the world this week if you were out actually living life and not following it on Twitter.

The Hoff is BACK. Sorta, kinda…

1. Clearly it’s Marketing Gone Wild Week with Sweden’s national twitter handle being turned over to people and David Hasselhoff (overload on the Bro-tox) doing what I think is a commercial for Lean Pockets.  The Hoff channels a twisted mash-up of Wendy Williams and Heidi Klum in what feels like a dream so weird you can’t explain what happened.

2. Guess what, French women DO get fat! (I knew it).  The New York times reports that obesity has reached a tipping point in France and it’s Jenny Craig to the rescue.  The real news is that Jenny’s pre-packaged meals have fewer calories than the American versions, so the French women will be thin, once again.  Anyone else struggling to picture a post partum Carla Bruni Sarkozy sitting down to a microwaved Jenny meal?

3. Speaking of France, it’s a better place for women then the US (again, I knew it).  The best countries for women were just released from Trust Law (Reuters).  Top 5 include Canada, Germany, Great Britain, Australia and France.  All based on a criteria of health care, freedom from violence, political participation, workplace opportunities, access to resources and freedom from trafficking and slavery.  I throw up in my mouth a bit hearing that “trafficking and slavery” is so much of a problem it even qualifies as a major criteria.

4. And now for some uptown problems.  Forbes’ released the Top 10 wealthiest models, with Gisele raking in $45 million clams a year She’s numero uno by a wide margin versus Kate Moss who comes in second at a paltry $9.2 million.  It’s apples to oranges in my opinion because Kate’s been around forever, which makes her the real superstar.

5. New study says to avoid boring shoes unless you’re aloof, repressive or a Pilgrim.  According to a new study from the Journal of Research in Personality, shoes tell the world all about you before you open your mouth.  What’s interesting is that ankle boots suggest you’re aggressive, while uncomfortable shoes (Louboutin stripper platforms I guess) implies you’re calm.  If you have several pairs, then you may suffer from “attachment anxiety” because you care what others think of you.  So, I am apparently anxiously calm.  How about you?

6. Shoes aside, lets eat!   Have you tried grilled pizza?  (I’m speaking to you friends with backyards and Weber grills).  If you invite me over, I’ll bring these spiked ice cream sandwiches from Coolhaus.  They are the culinary “50 Shades of Grey” with better writing and explode in your mouth with a sensation of cookie, booze and ice creamy salty sweetness.

7. Lastly, there’s the hot mess we call LiLo (Lindsay Lohan), was rushed to the hospital after being found unconscious in her hotel room (drama), but we are all now told “she was just tired from working”  And there is Madonna (Madge) flashing her nipple.  Enough ladies, you’re too talented to desperately grasp at straws to get attention.  Get back to the work that made you great in the first place and give us something to respect once again.  We want you to win, we really do!

Have a great weekend!